that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
