This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
