She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just want nice things and good sex
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
