Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
