I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
