There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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