So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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