Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
