Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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