The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
