Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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