I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
