Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
