Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
