I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We are two peas in an std pod
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
