Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
