Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
