yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
