I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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