I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize