Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
