after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
