fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize