Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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