Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I think your dad took our porno
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
