I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
