thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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