Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize