what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
