i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
