I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
