ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
we're making bets on your personal life
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
