Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Houston, we have a blender
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize