I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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