I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
