watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
