Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
