No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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