the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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