So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
