can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize