All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize