nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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