im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My room smells like vodka and shame
I wannas sexs uuuuu
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
