so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize