I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize