and i looked up. we had an audience...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
