sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
