he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
