You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
