im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
