Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
