Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
