I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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