Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
