I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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