Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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