First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
