fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
