Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize
