Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
