I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
