I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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