jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
