I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
