yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize