I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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