apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
